7 steps to stop fighting over money

Love doesn’t set limits on conversation topics, but if you’re constantly arguing about money, it’s not a topic you want to discuss.

Money is the first point of contention between married couples, and it is always one of the main reasons for divorce. So it is important that Solve money problems in a healthy way than the money itself.

When arguing about money becomes the norm

You’ve run through some version of this story before: You two had a long day at work, the kids are jumping on the walls, and your husband mentioned he just spent $75 on fun.

So you say under your breath, “It must be nice to be able to spend such money without telling me.”

Your husband gets defensive, and a game of verbal tennis begins. Over the next 30 minutes, the conversation slowly turns into a heated argument, and you fall out with the person you like the most — again.

Children rush to their rooms. The dog hides under the sofa. The neighbor outside is looking up after trimming the rose bushes.

Or maybe the conversations about money in your house aren’t loud, but the underlying tension pops up from time to time.

Budget battles come in all shapes and sizes. It could be an unexpected untimely bill or an unscheduled loan for a family member. Or maybe it’s a purchase the family doesn’t need right now – or you’re sure you do. Whatever reason you argue about money, it robs you of your confidence, peace, communication, and joy in your marriage.

How financial arguments affect your marriage

For many couples, arguing about money isn’t just a bump in the road. It can become a major hurdle. The truth is, money fights don’t just stop you Earn money. It affects every aspect of your marriage and life.

Negative effects of arguing on money:

• No common dreams: 45% of couples who describe their marriage as “fine” or “in crisis” avoid discussing their financial dreams together.
• Financial betrayal: A third of people who argue with their spouse about money say they hid a purchase from their spouse because they knew they wouldn’t agree.
• bad health Numerous studies show that stress related to money can have a negative impact on blood pressure, back pain, muscle and mental health, and more.
• lack of confidence When money is a constant source of stress, it breaks down trust in a relationship.
• divorce: Arguing about money is by far the biggest predictor of divorce. Not the kids or the in-laws or anything else. It’s money, for both men and women.

7 steps to stop arguing about money

Arguments and money problems are painful. If you’re having trouble getting along with your spouse, follow these seven steps to restore peace.

1. Recognize — and appreciate — your differences

You already know that men and women are different. But the difference isn’t bad — in fact, it’s pretty significant. It’s often about recognizing the differences between each other, such as soul nerd, libertine, spender, thrifty, security, or status.

Being aware of your differences is the first step to being able to appreciate them. Use this to maintain balance when discussing money. And don’t just listen to your husband’s concerns – really listen to him and look for the truth in what he says. You are not the only one with a point of view on issues, which is why it is so important to listen first and speak later.

2. Share a joint bank account

People are very passionate and protect their right to be separate account from the husband or wife. Yet to be financially and relationally successful in marriage, both spouses need to be on the same page.

3. Schedule budget appointments

In marriage , effective budget Means you have to take the time to plan date nights around a budget each month. Couples who set financial goals together tend to be closer because the trust factor is much higher. They can sustain troubled marriages and strengthen healthy ones. It’s beautiful.

4. Avoid wild exaggerations

Two of the most dangerous words in marital discord, whether it is about money or something else, are never and always. It’s easy to fall back on “You never do this” or “You always do that.” But most of the time, these accusations are based on emotion rather than reality. Don’t fall into this trap. Beware of exaggerated words.

5. Attack your debt together

Debt is at the root of many financial disputes. Nearly half of couples with consumer debt of $50,000 or more say money is one of the main reasons for arguments.

So do yourself a big favour Start getting out of debt. Not only will this take a major (and perhaps most important) stressor out of your marriage, but it will also give you a common goal to achieve together.

And listen, splurge on paying off your debt! This means making some short-term sacrifices for your long-term benefit. You can even think Find additional work for several months. You may need to pause your evening outings. You can say goodbye to cable.

6. Don’t be afraid to bargain

The word compromise may not come naturally to you, but if you want to stop fighting for money, this is crucial. While you never want to compromise your safety or ruin your financial plan, getting caught in the middle can make for a great solution. Marriage is about give and take, so stay on the same page by leaving some wiggle room on the tough stuff.

7. Never lose sight of purpose

As a couple, you know where you are now. And after a few months of budget meetings, you should have a common vision of what you want to do. A big part of being married is creating a life you love together. Money is just a tool to help you achieve those dreams.

So don’t let immediate conflict erase the progress you’ve made or derail your dreams for the future. Begin every financial discussion with the objective in mind – and don’t let your arguments take you away from that base.

Conclusion

The biggest step to quit arguing about money is to sit down with your husband or wife and acknowledge that there is work to be done.

So after you put the kids to bed tonight, turn off the TV and sit down and chat with your spouse for a long time. Put it all on the table — money, communication, trust issues? . everyone. Once you understand what each of you is feeling, you can work together to overcome these issues.

Money is an emotionally charged topic, and how you handle it will influence your family tree for generations to come. You may not be able to avoid all financial disagreements in your marriage, but you can learn to fight fair and work together.