Do you think that combining money and marriage is a recipe for disaster? you’re not the only one. Money is the first point of contention for married couples, and it is the second reason for divorce after infidelity. When it comes to money in any relationship, there are bound to be frustration and stress.
No matter how much you love your husband, trying to integrate your life — and “his and her money” — can be a bumpy (but still beautiful!) ride. After all, you both come from different experiences in life, and the way you perceived and internalized those experiences may have been very different. This is why you sometimes have two very different views on money!
So give each other a blessing. And use these seven steps to build bridges, not burn them:
1. Maintain a joint bank account
Some couples believe that the best way to avoid quarrels over money is Have separate bank accounts. His salary goes to one account, his salary to another, and they each pay their bills separately. No problem, no error, right? This is a mistake. This way of doing things opens the way to serious financial and marital problems.
Separating cash and splitting bills is a bad idea that only leads to more financial problems and relationship after that. Do not maintain separate accounts. Put all of your money together and start looking at it as a whole.
2. Discuss your life choices together
Let’s say you’re perfectly happy shopping at Emmaus when you need to update your wardrobe, but your wife likes to buy name-brand items at full price. If your income doesn’t allow you to have great tastes, this is going to be a problem.
Marriage is a matter of compromise. If any of you have expensive tastes, consider shopping at a second-hand mall to find name-brand items at reasonable prices.
Because the bottom line is this: Your lifestyle should match your actual income – not what you want it to be. You may want to live like a perfectly polished Instagram post, but don’t let yourself fall into that mouse hole. Especially when there are not enough zeros in your bank account.
3. Learn about your personality
Everyone’s mindset is different when it comes to money, and opposites tend to attract. It’s possible that one of you likes to work with numbers (the nerd) and the other would rather not stick to what the numbers say (the free spirit). One of you may be the saver and the other more willing to spend.
Although personal differences are the root cause of some marital problems, they are not the real cause of your money and marriage problems. The source of the problem is when one of you neglects to listen to the other’s opinion or when one of you gives up managing finances altogether.
Listen up, financial nerds. Do not keep financial details to yourself. And stop using your “knowledge” to arrange your free wife.
If you’re a more comfortable partner, don’t just nod your head and say, “That looks great.” You have your say during budget meetings! Give your opinion, criticize and encourage.
new : You’re both on the same team, so work on the budget together! Use your personal differences to become a stronger and more united team.
4. Don’t let the differences in salary come between you
In most couples, one person probably makes more money than the other. It is rare for both of you to earn exactly the same salary. But whether the extra 50 € or 50,000 € per year, the same problem may arise.
Instead of thinking of the entire joint pot as “our money,” you might think that you have influence over your spouse with a few extra digits on your paycheck. Sometimes, the spouse who makes the most money may feel entitled to express their opinions. Don’t go that far. You will only ask for more money and relationship problems.
It’s not yours or mine – it’s ours. There is no reason to demand a higher income than the other. You are part of the same team. Start acting like one.
5. Keep purchases out in the open
Being unfaithful to one’s spouse does not always imply an affair. Sometimes it’s when you’re disloyal to a common financial goal by opening a side bank account or hiding money. It’s a deception. The same is true if you have a credit card that your spouse doesn’t know about.
It’s important to be open and honest about any side checking, savings accounts, or confidential credit cards you may have. It’s time to admit the truth and set the record straight. Next, work on restoring financial confidence. Reaffirm your joint financial goals and remind yourself why you’re doing it. You are in the same boat!
6. Set your expectations together
When it comes to money and relationships, unmet expectations can be a source of a lot of conflict. The quickest way to feel dissatisfied with your partner is to expect things to go a certain way, only to find that the reality is a little different.
If you always thought that you should buy a house right after the wedding, you may be disappointed when you celebrate your first birthday in the apartment you rent. Don’t let your unrealistic expectations pave the way for marriage and money problems!
There are no rules that say that married couples have to buy a house, start a family, or take a trip to Madrid in the first year of their marriage. If these things are not achievable at the moment, stop worrying. Get your money in order now, so you can make your dreams come true later.
7. Don’t let children run the show
Your kids are begging you to buy the latest video game. Do you think they’ve been doing well lately and you think, why not? But your wife is upset because it’s not in the budget. Hey, imminent financial dispute! Want to navigate unmet expectations and personal differences? We will be by your side.
Whether it’s buying toys, giving them money, or just paying for their sports equipment, kids have a knack for bringing out how couples view money differently.
You need to meet and talk about it and make a plan. decide together How to set a budget For the things your kids need. But what about all their desires? Discuss the possibility of creating a routine and a commission (or allowance) for the work they do. It can help them develop a good work ethic, while teaching them how important it is to wait to get what you want in life!
It’s time to stop making these financial mistakes and find common ground. Because, listen, cultivating a strong marriage takes time and work. This process can be embarrassing, even frustrating, but you can learn to discuss your money more productively.
And don’t forget that you married this person for a reason. Believe it or not, you need their skills, insight, and perspective, especially ones you don’t have. This free spirit or nerd can bring you valuable knowledge and ideas. He’s your teammate, and it’s time to start treating him like one.